Hot Jewish Bitches Are The New Blog

Bonbibi from Aruba

2005-07-22T23:41:00.000-04:00

Hey Girls,

I decided to go on our post and realized that we have all forgotten about are fab site. Wanted to say hi and send my love. Miss you slut bags!!! HJB's rock my Aruba world.

Love and sand in your ass,

J.Bizzle

"I'm single. It's summer. People need to know."

2005-06-21T11:38:00.000-04:00

We are sexy hot jews that are now on the prowl,
Unfortunately the guys we’ve seen are all pretty foul.
Today is the day that officially starts the summer,
If we don’t find some dudes it will be a big bummer.
From sailors, to Hamptons, to hometown lovers,
Whatever works to get naked under the covers.

-JB

"thats how you do it, thats how you debate"

Jessica Simpson is a Whore

2005-06-15T14:51:00.000-04:00

Ok, i would like to address Jessica Simpsons new video, "these boots are made for walking". . . I cannot believe that #1- her outfit has whore splattered all over it, #2- she looks like shes in a Playboy video and about to start touching herself/ start convulsing from an orgasim, esp in the car washing scene #3- she is a HORRIBLE dancer with zero rhythm, #4- her dad was there for this shoot?!!! and #5- she claims to be Catholic? wtf!

Also, MOST IMPORTANTLY, i would like to point out that Spears has never appeard in a video looking that slutty, yet she is the hottest, best, and sexiest pop star that has and will ever exist.

Sorry for the anger is this post, but Simpson is really pissing me off latley and i cant stand that video. I think im officially OVER her

a-train out

Slap it, Shoot it, Ka-Boot it

2005-06-15T13:01:00.000-04:00

A QUICK WEEK IN REVIEW by J-Blaze

Quick shout out to an original HJB: HAPPY BIRTHDAY A-TRAIN!!

*Viva La Lohan snubs the Simpson sisters... pop that biznatch in the face Joe Simpson!
*Napoleon sweeps the MTV Movie Awards… who ever doesn’t like this movie is a gosh dang idiot.
*Madonna wrote a new book… appropriately titled 'Baka Laka Daka'.
*Donald gives advice to Paris2: pre-nup… aka Booya
*Michael Jackson gets acquitted on all 10 counts of child molestation… (Moment of silence)
*Destiny’s Child breaks up... we just aren't ready for your jelly, end of convo beyon.
*TomKat officially goes insane while Katie joins Scientology… Nnw everyone do the “TOM CRUISE!!”
*A mouse named Road Kill attacks Murray Hill
*The Olsen Twins turn 19… where the fuck was our invite?
*Manhattan is opening up their very first 7-11… just what we need, another place for the homeless to hang out at!!
*An autopsy on Terri Schiavo backed her husband's contention that she was in a persistent vegetative state, finding that she had massive and irreversible brain damage and was blind, the medical examiner's office said Wednesday. It also found no evidence that she was strangled or otherwise abused. (Moment of silence again... or you're riding shot gun with K-Rock on her one way ticket to hell)

Quotes of the week:

Paris Hilton:
"I don't enjoy going out anymore, It's such a pain. It's everyone saying, `Let's do a deal! Can I have a picture?' I'm just, like, `These people are such losers. I can't believe I used to love doing this.'"

Scarlett Johansson:
“I do think having sex in a car is sexy. If I were in a really raunchy frame of mind and thinking of doing something crazy, kinky, and sexy, the back seat would be it.”
(why? because scarlett seems like one crazy byatch and hjb's like crazy byatches)

popcltrguru: j-blaze for prez

RIP

2005-06-05T13:41:00.000-04:00

ipod
Originally uploaded by hotjewishbitches.

MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR KTS LOST MUSIC.

A-TRAIN

I BUSTED --> "HAMPTONS OR BUST"

2005-06-03T12:26:00.000-04:00

A TRAGIC ENDING TO MY HAMPTONS LOVER...

BrianBJ74: over did it last night
BrianBJ74: may have to skip work today
BrianBJ74: we drank soooo many shots and beers at session 73 till 1Am
Starzasu: your soooooo coooooooool brian
Starzasu: tell me that thing about kenny g again
BrianBJ74: back in the reagan era
BrianBJ74: kenny g?
Starzasu: ha
BrianBJ74: girl
BrianBJ74: go back to romper room
BrianBJ74: how is work
Starzasu: good
BrianBJ74: yeah
BrianBJ74: what r ur big plans for the weekend?
Starzasu: sex drugs rock and roll... the usual
BrianBJ74: nice
BrianBJ74: can i play too
Starzasu: not sure about that one
BrianBJ74: if its like that
Starzasu: "its like that ya'll, like that ya'll, like dat dat dat like that ya'll"
BrianBJ74: um ok
Starzasu: what are you doing this weekend
BrianBJ74: hopefully u at some point
Starzasu: uch thats so annoying brian
BrianBJ74: staten island tomrrw
Starzasu: i mean, who do you think you are saying that at 10am
Starzasu: you are acting so staten island
BrianBJ74: my uncle is my dentist
BrianBJ74: he lives in staten island
BrianBJ74: i am going to hang out with him in the afternoon after my appointment
Starzasu: why arent you listing to me
BrianBJ74: such as pain to get there
Starzasu: ME ME ME ME ME
BrianBJ74: sunday- prob go home and see my mom for a bit
Starzasu: ok cant talk, this is annoying
BrianBJ74: ok
BrianBJ74: i would like to take u out
BrianBJ74: on a date
Starzasu: are you for real
Starzasu: have you been having a different conversation then i have?
BrianBJ74: i see the conversation also
BrianBJ74: too bad
Starzasu: it is too bad
Starzasu: i think that you so nice and everything, your just so intense
BrianBJ74: lets talk on the phone instead of this
Starzasu: i am at work
BrianBJ74: you buzz me then if you are interested in talking
Starzasu: theres not much to talk about here
BrianBJ74: too bad
Starzasu: for you
Starzasu: im a catch
Starzasu: ha
BrianBJ74: u prob are a catch
BrianBJ74: i don't think i am so bad either
Starzasu: you need to tame the intensity, ego, and vocabulary down
BrianBJ74: intensity i can't
BrianBJ74: that is who i am
Starzasu: its too much for me to handle
Starzasu: ego?!
BrianBJ74: what ego
Starzasu: i mean, who asks a girl about anal when you talk to her for the first time, within 2 mins?
Starzasu: thats embaressing
BrianBJ74: thats a joke my friends and i have
BrianBJ74: sorry if i offended u
Starzasu: well she isnt your friend
Starzasu: its just like nonstop with that
Starzasu: its intense
BrianBJ74: i apologize
Starzasu: thats fine
Starzasu: but thats just one time, you normally act like that
Starzasu: whatevs
BrianBJ74: u really are not one to talk
Starzasu: i dont want to sit here and discuss this
BrianBJ74: neither do i
Starzasu: you are a nice guy
BrianBJ74: i can go to work and fight
BrianBJ74: at least there i make money
BrianBJ74: listen
Starzasu: i just dont think that this would work
BrianBJ74: i would like to hang out
Starzasu: me and my "30k" a year salary
BrianBJ74: if you are willing to get past a miscommunication
BrianBJ74: if not-no worries
Starzasu: miscommunication?
BrianBJ74: i think i am a nice guy
BrianBJ74: everyone who knows me would agree
Starzasu: so this entire time you have been miscommunicating to everyone?
BrianBJ74: although i am misunderstood by some
Starzasu: i think you are a nice guy too, i said that
Starzasu: i think we are just too different maybe and that it wouldnt work out... trust me, your great on paper, but you should really tame down your entire schtick because its too much for people to handle
BrianBJ74: well if we can hang out without your friends it may be fine
BrianBJ74: i am not trying any more
BrianBJ74: i don't see it being worth it since very clearly you are influenced by your friends
BrianBJ74: you'll learn
Starzasu: my friends and family are a big part of who i am
BrianBJ74: be your own person
BrianBJ74: that happens over time
Starzasu: they arent doing anything
Starzasu: THIS IS ME TALKING
BrianBJ74: ok
BrianBJ74: u
Starzasu: gosh, its like you dont listen
BrianBJ74: i tried
BrianBJ74: i want to hang
BrianBJ74: u don't
BrianBJ74: its cool
Starzasu: i cant
Starzasu: its too much
Starzasu: you treated me nice but made me feel skanky, im just not that into it
Starzasu: sorry
BrianBJ74: i apologize for that
Starzasu: i think you are a great guy though and you will make someone very happy someday... just not me right now
BrianBJ74: no worries
BrianBJ74: u are def wrong though
Starzasu: hahaha
Starzasu: typical
BrianBJ74: at least in MY opinion
Starzasu: obviously, because you have a big ego and you wouldnt see past what some girl has to say about you Starzasu: its constructive critisism
Starzasu: use it, dont abuse it
BrianBJ74: thanks- i apreciate your honesty

AND THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT, THAT'S HOW YOU DEBATE

HA

2005-05-29T20:49:00.000-04:00

HA
Originally uploaded by hotjewishbitches.

JUST THOUGHT THIS WAS A FUNNY PIC. HA, LOOSER (BUT I LOVE HIM AND THEYRE ALL HOT)

ashley

2005-05-29T20:48:00.001-04:00

ashley
Originally uploaded by hotjewishbitches.

HALLOWEEN 2K5 (A-TRAIN) FOR CHEEZY

mk

2005-05-29T20:48:00.000-04:00

mk
Originally uploaded by hotjewishbitches.

HALLOWEEN 2K5, J-BLAZE IN THE HEEZY

YOGURT FOR LIFE

2005-05-26T17:13:00.000-04:00

I am so bored, so so bored.
I wish I had something interesting to say.
I am so bored, so so bored.

Today’s top headlining news: (according to me)
-Tom Cruise says: “Nic is not a bigot” – Please remind me, who ever called her a bigot in the first place?!
-Carrie Underwood is the new American Idol. - DUH and WOO all in one!
-Britney Spears wears shoes to the bathroom. - I never saw the problem with not wearing shoes… but a public bathroom… please Spears; I can only help you so much!!
-Lindsay Hohan has shrinking breasts… WHAT? THEY SHRINK WHEN YOU GO ANNOREXIC?!

Top 4 Celebrity Quotes of the Week:
“I have good karma… I am a good person, so God made things happen for me.”
– Paris Hilton in US Weekly

“I’ve never heard him rap. Does he even speak? He looks like he’s on mute all the time. When I met him, he just nodded.”
-Damon Dash in InTouch, upon hearing that Kevin Federline is working on a rap CD.

“I recommend anyone who decides to do this, go with a group, because you are stoned out of your head after… and it’s awesome.”
-Sandra Bullock in US Weekly, on the unexpected joys of a colonoscopy

“Last night, I was with a guy who was 35. And he said ‘How old are you?’ I said to him, ‘I’m 47’ And it was like, whatever. He went back to sucking my face off.”
-Fran Drescher in US Weekly

J.BLAZE BORED AT WORKKKKKKKK
HOLLA

wait . . .

2005-05-24T18:42:00.000-04:00

WE FORGOT THE ONE MOST ASKED QUESTION OF THE WEEKEND . . .

"WAIT, SO HOW DO U GUYS KNOW EACHOTHER AGAIN??"

GGGGOOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!LOLOLOLOL

-A train

IM IN LOVE (A-train at least hehe)

2005-05-24T14:26:00.000-04:00

IM IN LOVE
Originally uploaded by hotjewishbitches.

NO COMMENT.

HAMPTONS OR BUST

2005-05-24T02:55:00.000-04:00

OUR FUCKING BEST WEEKEND EVER IN THE HAMPTONS: First weekend of the summer!!
-"Hey guys, I still sleep bitch in my parents bed."
-I'm a maniac
-Fuck Kill Marry
-D.Shap WHAT!
-I Heart Dan's Paper
-"They worship us"
-Calendar shoot at 4am
-"We did them in all the worst ways"
-"I mean, we're good times"
-Jason is our bodyguard
-K-Rock, A-Train, J-Blaze
-"We own the hamptons"
-Audrey found an Insta-BF
-Good times for free weekends!
-Veronica, Tina, and Rachel... Inferno
-We all got ass- first time ever!
-We watched the sun come up
-The creep who lays out alone by the vollyball court
-Cleaning soggy pretzels at 7am
-"We are searching for Katie's contacts"
-BWE... BEST WEEKEND EVER!!
-"Why wouldnt they love us, we are like SO FUN!"
-"I mean, I just want to do him all the worst ways"
-Spooning in A-train's bed
-I sucked his dang
-I just remembered something from last night... he saved his balls!
-He threw me into the 69 position
-Rasta man rollin a spliff and drinking vodka
-Eye masks are awesome!
-Locals... gotta love the locals
-The Jitney flight attendant fell on us
-Who uses suntan lotion? Sunburns are SO in
-The Lisa's, Zoey (turtleneck freak), David's, Adams, Michael's, Jason the bodyguard
-Welcome to Jenny's Comedy Hour
-"I can feel the aderol pumping through my veins"
-DJ AM play Spears... DJ Star Room plays NO SPEARS!
-"In the Hamptons, I am Martha fucking Stewart!"
-VIP at Star Room... SYJCHI
-"Lets have Hamptons love children"
-"I dont fart"
-SONA SON SONA SON SONA SONA SONA SONA
-Katie wants to Shaprio you... or was it David wants to Shapiro you?
-FOLLOW JERRY SEINFELD
-He asked for my IM name
-Orgy in the hot tub
-Hook ups in the same room!
-Rolling J's at 3am on the basketball court... shhh super top secret
-"I can read you: You are a mommys boy, you have a super clean apartment, and are such a ho"

But no one will no will really ever know what really took place, something happened, something upsetting happened, something that the three of us can't even speak about...
djtanner4: its probably the worst thing that has happened to me this year
Aud831: ME TOO
Starzasu: i totally agree
djtanner4: i cant speak of it

Hamptons 2005... all weekend, every weekend!!

-J.Blaze

MOURNING

2005-05-23T20:35:00.000-04:00

I would like to report to all of our legions of readers that yes, in fact, the three "founding fathers" of hotjewishbitches have returned from the Hamptons tan, happy, and sexually fulfilled (some more then others). Unfortunatly, there will be no documentation of our journeys bc the pics are lost. i would like everyone to take a moment of silence, and poor the first sips of their next drinks on the floor to remember the loveing memory of our Hamptons pics. RIP- out

a-train

The Dark Continent

2005-05-20T15:59:00.000-04:00

What up HJB's? Just wanted to say bye to everyone before I leave for Africa today! I hope you ladies pick up some fine, strapping Jizzie Bizzies this weekend in the Hizzies...take care of each other!

xo,

RZA

JESUS IS COMING, HIDE YOUR BONG!

2005-05-19T22:49:00.000-04:00

I'm still frickin bored. ER is on, Shane West is a doctor,
he will forever and always be the guy who said: "Love is like the
wind, you can't see it, but you can feel it". Why is ice cold water
better than cold water? DId you know my initials are on the J&B
alcohol bottle? the & looks like an E... for Erin... as in the boys
name but with an E. Lohan is the next to go to rehab (any type).
When I was younger I had a smurf sleeping bag and i used to rub the
white hats because they were soft. Kirsten Cohen made me cry tonight,
twice. techtonic plates, techtonic plates. Grays Anatomy is much better
than ER. The new DMB cd got an A- review, i want it. Still bored but
not bored enough to ever see The Sith of Star Crap.
Hamptons or bust... Seacrest Out!

Quote of the night:
Aud831: i want to be an artist i think

VOTE: CARRIE UNDERWOOD

-J.BLIZZ

RULE BRAKER, BABY MAKER

2005-05-19T17:53:00.000-04:00

BIGGER BRAD
Originally uploaded by hotjewishbitches.

DAMN, THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. HE MAY NOT BE JEWISH, BUT I COULD BE WILLING TO BEND THE RULES ... A-TRAIN

HAMPTONS OR BUST

2005-05-19T17:03:00.000-04:00

Just incase anyone is wodering where the HJB"S are this weekend, WE ARE IN THE HAMPTONS!!!!

HAMPTONS BIOTCH

2005-05-18T18:18:00.000-04:00

I think we deff need to go to hamptons for the 4th, i hope this kid is cool, hes deff a jew, but can he handle the HJB's??? Well see. . .

2005-05-17T23:36:00.000-04:00

... obsessed for life -jb

I LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS!

2005-05-17T23:01:00.000-04:00

I LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS!I LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS!I LOVE
BRITNEY SPEARS!I LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS!I LOVE!
BRITNEY SPEARS!I LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS!I LOVE
BRITNEY SPEARS!I LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS!I
LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS!I LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS!

A-train

My Bitches

2005-05-17T19:12:00.000-04:00

My friends harass me so...
They don't get that NO means NO.
I am not quite sure what I am to post
And all I can think of is a little roast...

K-rcok you dyke,
ha ha haaa... PSYCH!

J and A, my fair, blonde friends
around you I must wear depends.
Blondes may have more fun
But they sure are DUMB!

I kid because I love you guys
All the other HJBs I despise.
Please don't make me post anymore,
Cause clearly I am SUCH a bore!

WHERE HJB'S GO ON VACATION. . .

2005-05-17T15:59:00.000-04:00

A-Trains ideas for July 4th. . .

Miami
Jamaica
LAS VEGAS (that would be fun!)
Mexico?
Jersey Shore
Hamptons
Fire Island**could be fun, maybe B&T tho
Cape Cod
Atlantic City
Carribean
Bahamas
Key West!
Mertle Beach

fuck it, lets just pretend we're still in college and party our asses off. . . WHOS COMIN WITH ME!

What's left to ponder amigo?!

2005-05-17T13:37:00.000-04:00

Why oh why, do my work days not fly by?
I ask myself this, everyday around 6.
PM that is, please don’t be confused.
If it were AM, I would still be pushing snooze.
My day has been crunching numbers into spreadsheets.
Id rather be walking around Soho with homeless bloody feet.

-Bored at work... Jizza B.

The Queen Jewish Biotch

2005-05-17T00:19:00.000-04:00

This is the one of the queen hot jewish bitches in the heezy- and i would just like to ask "WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE HOT JEWISH GUYS IN NYC?!!" Honestly, there is a serious drouught going on, and something needs to be done. Moses, WHAT THE FUCK. Its like he parted the red sea again or some shit, and it never refilled (aka= NO BOYS). anyways, if your out there, and want some hot jeswish bitches, u have come to the right place. leave us your ppic- and WE will contact u, IF we approve.
GOOD LUCK

HJB's Are Always Down for a Hot Rendezvous

2005-05-16T23:15:00.000-04:00

bitches please.
as a representative of the hjb's of c-bus:
we are ALWAYS fUnKy FrEsH,dReSsEd to iMpReSs & rEaDy to pArTaYyyyYYyy!

2005-05-16T22:54:00.000-04:00

Fab quote of the night: "The only thing that spreads faster than disease is gossip"

-Jenerator

Choice Phrases Volume I

2005-05-16T22:52:00.000-04:00

I want to do him in all the worst ways
I am baked to the bajesus belt
Members Only
I am sooo…vogue
GOOD TIMES
It’s college, who cares
Suna Suaaa Suna Suaaa Suna Sua Sua Suna Suaaaa
Smoke em if you got em
I look like a shit sandwhich
OMG
That is so BONER
DUH
Sometimes you just can’t help it
VIP
Ehhh, hurrr, ahhhh, neee, neee, ehhhhh
Off my rocker
No shot
Quasi
Sweet JA-Esus
More Cowbell
Dinga Dinga Dinggggggggg
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Work it and reverse it
I am going to piss myself
Does she have her panties in a twist?
That is just AHHHHHSEME
Ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski ski
That gets me real hot and bothered
Shut it down
Booya

2005-05-16T22:47:00.000-04:00

SPEARS AND K.FED... HJB'S ROLE MODELS. GO CHAOTIC OR GO HOME!!! WOOO!!!
Aud831: what should i get for our brit party? Djtanner4: condoms, marlboros, lube and cut off jean shorts

2005-05-16T22:31:00.000-04:00

HJB... loves day drinkers, hoodies, and booze

2005-05-16T22:26:00.000-04:00

VIP... Sometimes You Just Can't Help It!

2005-05-16T22:22:00.000-04:00

SUNA SUN SUNA SUN SUNA SUN SUNA SUNA SUNAAAAA

2005-05-16T22:19:00.000-04:00

HJB... has fucking hot friends

2005-05-16T22:02:00.000-04:00

HJB embraces the mexi lovers

2005-05-16T21:59:00.000-04:00

HJB wants to do JT in all the worst ways!

Classic "Etadj" Convo

2005-05-16T21:08:00.000-04:00

That is jdate backwords retards...

KennyWonka: i saw u online
nycstarz82: no way, on line?
KennyWonka: oh yes way, on jdizzle
nycstarz82: wud up willy wonka
KennyWonka: you drank fizzy lifting drink, you got my fans dirty, you lose, you get nothing, good day
nycstarz82: oh shut up, you had me at drank fizzy
KennyWonka: did u paint ur face with i love britney
nycstarz82: no, my chest
KennyWonka: sweet

WHAT?!?!

DINGA DINGA DINGGGGGGGGGGG

2005-05-16T19:54:00.000-04:00

WELCOME TO THE BEST BLOG EVA BITCHES.

THIS IS WHERE THE HOT JEWISH BITCHES TAKE OVER THE WORLD... PLEASE MAKE SURE TO ACT LIKE A BITCH, A TOTAL SNOB, AND THE FUNNIEST HO BAG IN THE WORLD.